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If there is one thing that I have realized it is that we are capable of rationalizing almost anything. Being human also means being able to reason, that is the only upper hand we have over any other mammal. But by having this ability we have all found a way of making our lives appear a lot more complicated than they really are. How you might wonder? By being able to reason and rationalize any of our efforts we also are able to avoid the truth in many circumstances. We over-think or over-analyze situations to the point that once mental exhaustion has set in we have forgotten the simplicity of the situation.
Something as simple as eating has become a way of controlling ones weight or repressing ones emotions and many woman have forgotten why we have to eat in the first place. We eat to live but sadly many now live to eat. Endlessly counting and cutting calories or even worse resorting to eating disorders in order to feel as if we have some form of control over our lives and the way others view them. This isn’t the only situation that we have found ourselves complicating, in fact this is only one out of the various areas of our lives that we have found a way to lie to ourselves.
I’m not pretty enough to approach him at the bar. I’m not smart enough to go on to graduate school. I’m not funny enough to entertain his interests for more than a day. I’m too tired to get out of the house today. I’m too busy to take time to work out. I’m not thin enough. I don’t know how to pray. I’m too overwhelmed to finish my work. I’m not confident enough to assert my opinion. I don’t deserve better. If I give up now I know that I could have tried harder but if I continue and fail I will be a failure. I think I want to ______ but instead I’m going to sit around and allow myself to over think it until I eventually talk myself out of doing what I know that I need to do.
All of these are lies that we all tell ourselves that not only limit us from understanding our true potential and what we are capable of but also prevent us from possible greatness. Acknowledge that your head can rationalize just about anything into an excuse to either do something that you know isn’t good for you or not do something that is. We all know the truth in every situation and it’s choosing to tell ourselves the truth that frees us from our own self-enslavement and self-destruction. You must intentionally choose not to listen to that voice in your head that doesn’t bring you good and remind yourself every time you hear it that it isn’t good. We all have the power to choose and direct our thoughts. We all have the power to acknowledge when we are thinking something that will not benefit us in the future and choose not to run away with that thought but run from it in a different direction. Consciously choose and strive everyday for excellence not perfection; and watch as you rediscover your control over the only thing that you have control over…yourself.
- Eating disorders and authenticity: is the voice of memoir more truthful than that of fiction? (fionaeplace.wordpress.com)
- Eating disorders are NOT a game or a choice! REAL education needed for Eating Disorders Awareness Week. (faithandmeow.wordpress.com)
- My Psychotherapy Story for an Eating Disorder (psychcentral.com)
I have recently been asked a multitude of times how I got so thin and/or how I stay so thin. My answer is always the same, because I love myself. And yes, you are probably rolling your eyes right now and thinking what a conceited statement to say. I feel the exact same way every time I verbalize that sentence. As if in society today it is frowned upon to appreciate yourself and your body, let alone take care of it for that sole reason. In fact, I have to mentally correct myself whenever I hesitate to tell people exactly why I am so thin. I have to remind myself that it is okay to love yourself despite the outrageous number of people who don’t. On the other hand, it is NOT okay to love yourself more than other people and therefore lack any form of humility.
Anyways, after way too many years of hating myself and getting absolutely nothing in return…I decided it was time to take a different approach to things. That’s when I had a revelation that my eating habits were entirely unhealthy and completely controlled by my emotions or lack-thereof. Therefore any sense of logic was thrown out the window. In an attempt to alter my perception when it came to my eating habits, I asked myself whether or not I was really hungry every time I went to grab anything to eat. In return I realized that 75% of the time I was not at all. So during the typical three-quarters of hindsight, I went on to ask myself exactly why I felt the compulsion to eat. I sought after which ever void I was attempting to fill within the overall picture of my life in the form of instant gratification.
It was then that I saw exactly what I was doing, other than being totally self destructive. I realized that I ate my emotions instead of confronting them. And then I went on to acknowledge that my self destruction was not only limited to my eating habits. By not allowing myself to simply feel my emotions and body’s reaction to certain circumstances, I built up an emotional resistance that left me as one bitter being. In time I became numb and lost all distinction between right and wrong. With no moral compass, I eventually began to forget all feeling and knowledge of myself.
I began to focus on all of the wrong which left me without a single purpose. With a lack of purpose, I essentially lacked a life.
So in an attempt to regain myself and my self control, I began to tear down all of the walls I had built with resentment through out the years. I began to forgive others for the pain they had inflicted on me and I began to forgive myself.
This process of forgiving both parties allowed me to feel again.
By simply allowing yourself to feel and acknowledge the presence of pain, the pain surpasses. So allow yourself to feel. Feel your body during everything that you do, does it feel right? Focus only on what feels right.
When we allow ourselves to feel our emotions in the exchange of building up a resistance to them, the emotions surpass and no longer inflict upon us. But when we fail to confront them we face self-destruction in the form of addiction and abuse.
“This being human is a guest house. Every morning is a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all. Treat each guest honorably. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
Alright first comes first, STOP comparing yourself to the people you see around you. You will never look like them. You will however always look like you. So start accepting THAT fact now. And if this concept seems entirely too hard for you to grasp…than you need to begin considering that maybe you’re not the only one with insecurities. Those beautiful people you are obsessing over have imperfections as well, we all do. Our imperfections are what make us all magnificently unique, so begin to embrace yours.
Now that we’ve got that covered you are probably still wondering how exactly you can begin to love yourself more than others.
Well for starters, be grateful. Go look in the mirror right now and don’t allow your thoughts to pick out a single flaw. Before your mind even has a second to think about something discriminating to say to your body, YOU tell your body this:
“I am beautiful. Inside and out. I love myself and I love my body. Thank you fabulous figure for being such a valuable vessel to me.”
DO IT! NOW.
Keep repeating this, or something along the lines of this to yourself daily. Control your thoughts and cultivate an appreciation for your own unique beauty. There is only one of you, so own it.
Now since you have established an overall appreciation for yourself, you will want to take of yourself just the same as you would take care of anything else you appreciate and view as invaluable (because that’s what you are).
What do you do when your mercedes benz looks filthy? You clean it, in fact you get it detailed!
What do you do when your miniature english bulldog is hungry? Fill her up with the best dog food you can find!
I think you get the point, you take care of things that you view as invaluable.
Now accept that your body is one of them.
And take care of it.
How? This is how.
Eat a balanced diet. My typical daily meal looks something like this:
Breakfast: oatmeal or a small fruit salad or scrambled eggs on whole wheat toast or special K cereal…W/ green tea + skim milk + splenda.
Lunch: low fat yogurt, fruit or a small side salad, cashews.
Snack: anything with protein, ideally a bar or smoothie.
Dinner: stick to chicken or fish or morning star, with a side of any green vegetable I prefer.
And when I’m craving something sweet…green tea…green tea…green tea…
Keep in mind that is just a general idea. But the idea is that I eat healthy because I love my body and I feel better about myself when I do.
Point blank, giving into unhealthy food on a regular basis is letting FOOD control me and my attitude about myself. I don’t know about you but I prefer to be in control over myself.
Moving right along. Exercise.
As often as you have time for, but ideally something once a day. Even if that something is a walk around the block. I try to work out at least five times a week. I have a strict have to do yoga twice a week and run three times a week AT LEAST. If I have time, I will try and work in more. I work out because I have more energy when I do. I have noticed when I allow myself to hit a lull in my routine that I feel much more fatigued and less enthused to do things. Because I don’t like feeling this way, I make sure to work out. And in return I feel much more confident in doing so. And you will too!
It’s time that you change your careless attitude to one of an overall confidence in who you are and how you look. You know what to do, so set your body into motion. Life is too short to not love yourself inside and out. I know it’s hard to follow the rules 24/7, I mean after all rules are meant to be broken, so don’t feel guilty and give up when you take a day off to purge. Sometimes we all need to, just make sure that when you do you get back on the band wagon the next day. Just because you blew it doesn’t give you a reason to continue to do so. Most importantly, don’t give up on yourself because you are worth so much more than that!
P.S. Don’t forget to remind yourself how beautiful you are each and every day!