Love vs. Lust

ImageLove can sometimes be confusing. It’s confusing because it forces us to feel rather than to think, and we live in a society that conditions us to think rather than to feel. To the rational mind, feelings are perceived as confusing as it struggles to understand and fully define them. But the thing is, feelings are not logical they are emotional. Therefore, they can only be felt and understood through the heart and not the mind. So the notion of love, in particular, can be particularly confusing because it carries so much emotion that it can literally allow us to “lose our minds” because our minds can not understand it. It’s as if our minds simply give up, and allow emotion to temporarily take over. But is this really and truly love? Is true love designed in such a way that it not only allows us to lose our minds but ourselves as well, sending us into a euphoric high that temporarily makes us come alive and perceive another person as “perfect”? Is this love or lust? In the past I had thought that I had found true love multiple times, and every single time that “love” failed to last. I eventually began to question my own idea of love and whether or not that idea was an accurate depiction of true love. Does true love always feel like a passionate connection that sends butterflies swirling throughout your stomach and your mind on a scavenger hunt questioning whether or not he is the one and whether or not he will text you back if it has been more than a couple of hours? Is love really supposed to feel like a push-pull relationship between two extremes that makes your emotions swing back and forth like a pendulum? Is this love or is this lust? From my own experience, as well as that of others, I have come to realize that true love doesn’t express itself as I have previously stated. True love isn’t the loud and in-your-face sort of love that almost always grabs your attention, rather it is quite the opposite. True love is the quite and consistent kind that makes you feel safe, secure, and comfortable to reveal all that you are. True love steadily grows over time, it isn’t instant and it isn’t elusive. It is easy to overlook because it is simply so easy. There are no games and it honestly doesn’t feel like much of a challenge, therefore it is “easy” to take for granted. As humans, we are almost programmed to seek problems to solve and so we consider anything that is effortless as less than ideal. However, if you honestly asked yourself whether or not you wanted to spend the rest of your life trying to “fix” or “fit” someone else into your own expectations, I bet you would consider otherwise. I mean honestly, are you friends with people who you want to fix or who consistently make your life difficult? No, you are friends with people because you share a mutual understanding and affection for one another, because you feel comfortable being yourself with them, and because your relationship comes easy to you both. Friendship just feels natural. So just like friendship, true love feels natural, it comes easy and it accepts you as you are. Lust however, will always feel like a challenge and will always challenge you. Lust and infatuation embrace nearly every negative emotion there is; jealousy, obsession, depression, insecurity ect. Lust leaves you questioning where your relationship stands. It leaves you in a constant state of insecurity that almost always makes you appear crazy, and can you help it? No, because you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t even “in a relationship” with you. True love is unconditional, the kind that accepts you as you are and never attempts to make you someone that you aren’t. It’s secure, it’s safe, it’s comfortable, it’s easy, it’s balanced, it’s accepting, it’s always loving and it’s always there. That is love, true love and unconditional love. Compared to it, everything else is secondary.

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