Your Own Bestfriend.

There are many times in life that I have found myself disappointed in the direction my relationships were going. Many times I have found myself living for the people around me instead of for myself. I was always available to help, to hangout, to listen. But very few people were always available for me, when I needed them.

The day that I realized that there is no one else in my life who I can always rely on but myself, was the day that I became my own best friend. At first it was a sad realization, but shortly after I became liberated at the idea of never having to look to someone else for my happiness. I soon found that I was the only one responsible for my own happiness and unhappiness. I couldn’t expect a best friend or a boyfriend to read my mind and know what I really wanted but I could most certainly read my own.

After that I picked up a paint brush again. I went on a baking spree and scoured pinterest for recipes to please my sweet tooth. I stopped putting up with the people in my life who didn’t lift me higher. I began texting people back on my own terms. If I didn’t feel like going out, I wasn’t. I began thinking of all of the possibilities of my future and my own potential. Not the potential of a relationship. Not the potential of a friend. Not the potential of a boy. I started wearing what I wanted, and if the latest trend wasn’t my style…I sure as hell wasn’t wearing it. If you didn’t like my clothes, I didn’t care. I stopped trying to be cool and started trying to be me.

That is when my life changed. That is when a smile returned to my face. That is when I finally found life in my eyes once again. That was the day I regained my voice. The day I realized I couldn’t rely on anyone to be there for me, but me. It was then that I began the life long adventure of figuring out who I am and what I live for, which was no longer for other people. I challenge everyone to question themselves and their beliefs. I challenge everyone to travel outside of their comfort zone and find comfort in themselves. I challenge everyone to tie themselves to their own dreams and not to people or things.

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3 thoughts on “Your Own Bestfriend.

  1. I read your comment yesterday and the whole time on my way in to work today I was thinking about your blog and looking forward to checking it out.

    I just read this post, the very first one and it feels like I wrote it. It is what I went through and am still going through. It is really good to know that there is someone out there that feels the same, someone that is indirectly there for you although you haven’t met each other.

    I gave the douchebag a second chance, it has been a horrible 7months. Last night I told him that it is over. I am done with being the least important in his life, I am done with putting in everything and not getting anything in return, I am done with being treated like shit. I promptly said that I deserve better. In reality it has been over for a long time, but I could not get myself to give up so easily, but I am done sacrificing my well-being for someone who doesn’t give a shit.

    Last week was the first time in months that I painted something again and it was amazing. I gave up what I love and who I am for…well, I don’t know for what. It is the best thing in the world to find yourself again. We are our own happiness.

    I love your blog!

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    • Thank you so much! And I’m so proud of you. I know exactly how you feel, and there have been many times that I have had to remind myself to forget how I feel and remember what I deserve. You don’t deserve to be with someone who only makes you an option, no one does!
      “Going back to an ex in like rereading the same story over again already knowing how it’s going to end.”
      And I love your most recent post, thank you for that! I typically would have never reached out to someone like that but there were just way too many uncanny similarities between us for me not to!
      I hope that you start falling in love with yourself again and give yourself time for your heart to heal. If your anything like me, you idealize your partners and the potential of your relationships. But after sometime apart from them reality sinks in and you realize how much that person didn’t fit into your life in the first place. Then you can consider all of the qualities that you didn’t like in that person and that you need in another. Every heartache and every relationship brings us one step closer to the one.
      Don’t give up hope and please don’t become heartless! There are too many heartless people in this world and what I’ve learned from being one of them is that by building walls around our hearts we don’t allow others to hurt us but we also don’t give them the opportunity to love us either. So don’t give up on yourself, because your all you have! Hold your head high, the right person will fall in love with you once you fall in love with yourself again. I promise!
      XOXO

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