The Epitome of a Player.

English: Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

Image via Wikipedia

We have all dated one or fallen a victim to their confidence and nonchalant dispositions. Yes I am referring to what we call “womanizers”. But what if there was much more behind this facade that they all seem to effortlessly portray. What if the truth behind these womanizers wasn’t that they are heartless douche bags that reap the rewards of taking advantage of woman. What if these men act in accordance to their own yearning desires for unconditional love and are simply on the pursuit of finding it.

I can’t help but proclaim that despite their lack of compassion, these casanovas are quite shrewd in their quest for true love. It is said that men are visual creatures and know who the woman they are going to marry is within the first few moments of meeting her. In many instances a man knows when he has found the one much sooner than a woman does. With all of that being said, as much as we love to hate these skillful seducers for out smarting us into sleeping with them maybe there is something to appreciate in them after all.

First and foremost, their ability to emotionally detach themselves from their circumstances. Being a woman, I think we can all concur that we aren’t necessarily hardwired to do so. But by doing so men are both A) able to fulfill their sexual desires B) not become emotionally attached to said desires C) not let their emotions control their lives. I think that there is a lot to be said about this standard, as well as holds woman to an even higher standard. The fact that we are incapable of being completely emotionally detached forces us to value ourselves and our sexuality that much more. Men do not want to be with a woman who has been with everyone else as well, this says a lot about her character. Women are supposed to be the nurturing ones in a partnership and I think that our reach for equality may be the very reason that there are so many divorces filed today. Many woman have forgotten about their inherited roles as a woman.

Being a child of a broken marriage has taught me a lot about relationships. My father (who has asked for the love of his family every year for christmas) has shown me that above everything, unconditional love is his most prized possession. When my mother divorced him, his behavior afterwards became a prime example. He sought after the instant sexual gratifications given by many woman today, not because he was in love with them, but because he found fulfillment that he hadn’t found elsewhere. When he cheated on my mother, it wasn’t because he didn’t love her, it was because she was so consumed in being a brand new mother that none of her attention was directed towards him. He lacked the love and affection that his heart desired and so he sought it elsewhere.

When you think about it, men are quite simple. The two things that they desire most are affection and the knowledge that they are needed. Without these two things they feel incomplete and continue on their quest in order to fulfill these voids. So essentially this leaves us with two conclusions. That “womanizers” are just intelligent men waiting to find their Mrs. Right and until then pursuing Ms. Right Now. And that women are incapable of being completely emotionally detached, therefore emphasizing their natural need to value themselves enough to wait for Mr. Right. The inherited natural instincts of men and women continue to exist today even if the proper circumstances to play these roles cease to.


7 thoughts on “The Epitome of a Player.

  1. Pingback: Seduced (poem and pictorial) « Greatpoetrymhf’s Weblog

  2. This is really attention-grabbing, You’re an excessively skilled blogger. I’ve joined your rss feed and stay up for in search of more of your wonderful post. Additionally, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks!


  3. Not that your article is not true, but there is another perspective to a few of the statements in the article.

    Women are capable of being completely emotionally detached and many are. Women are just as capable to playing the counterpart of the man’s womanizer and many are.

    Men (and women) who decide to seek a play date outside of marriage may justify by stating the spouse’s failure to give provide their fulfillment. Fulfillment comes from within; it will never be satisfied by your spouse or your play date. If you decide to step outside of your commitment, it has everything to do with your integrity. Granted there are circumstances that make you vulnerable to playing around, but the decision and responsibility for your actions rests with you and you alone.

    Men are not so simple that if you give them unlimited access of 24-hour affection and feeling needed that they will not falter. There have been many men since the beginning of time with wives who are infirmed with an illness or suffering in some form or fashion that the wife cannot “attend” to them but alas, those men of character and integrity still remained faithful.

    If a man chooses to step out, it’s his choice. If a woman chooses to step out, it’s her choice. We cannot blame someone else for own shortcomings and nor is it wise to excuse the shortcomings of ones we love at the expense of others.

    Life is not so cut and dry nor black and white that A + B = C. Life is not an algebra class and the math simply just does not add up at all times.


    • I appreciate your perspective and understand exactly where you are coming from. I believe that everyone is responsible for his or her own actions, if you have read any of my prior posts you will see that I am a firm believer of that philosophy. But through psychological research it has been proven that a woman’s natural predisposition is that of an emotional being, “we feel therefore we are.” That is not an opinion but something that has been scientifically proven. Someone who is considered “completely emotionally detached” is referred to as a schizophrenic. In return a male is naturally hardwired to procreate.
      I do agree that fulfillment comes from within, for both males and females. That is why I do not condone fulfilling the emotional voids you do not allow yourself to feel with instant gratifications, because that therefore creates an addiction. Men and woman of integrity and character understand this and therefore do not give into all of their desires. But I wouldn’t say in todays society there are many men and women of said character considering that the divorce rate is currently 4.95/1,000 people in the United States which holds the highest rating in the world.
      In conclusion, I believe that everyone SHOULD take responsibility for their own actions because only you are responsible for the reality in which you live in. It would be irrational to think that you are capable of giving someone your unyielding attention 24/7, but it would also be irrational to not do so as often as you are able to. If you value your career or children more so than your husband than yes you should take responsibility for the fact that he is having an affair.
      Life is actually extremely simple when you do not attempt to complicate it. Its simplicity has even been equated into what we call quantum physics and if you take the time to perceive everything under the notion that you are responsible for it…this is understood.


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